Try as He Might
As hard as you might try and as dedicated you are to something or someone, sometimes things don't always work in your favor or don't turn out as you expected them to be. This is how the world works, unfortunately; we aren't all granted a fairytale story or ending. Maybe it doesn't make sense now, maybe it never will, but it's important to adapt to your surroundings the whole way through, though.
Lambertville, New Jersey. 2016
The Prayer of Peace
“Oh child,” the old woman said, as she looked up to see a young girl walk underneath the patterned tapestries into her tent. The elder patted her thin fragile hand beside her on the ground, gesturing to the girl to sit. “I can see with that look on your face why you're here,” she said. "Come sit, you’re troubled. The world is a troubled place. Each of us have had our hardships. None of us are immune to them.” The young girl walked over and kneeled on the ground, facing the elder shrouded in robes. The girl sat there, shaken and distraught.
There was clearly pain in her eyes. Taking a deep breath in before a slight pause, the elder stared into the young girl’s eyes. A loss was is seen inside them. Deep and cavernous pupils reflecting a tragedy of great measure, rippled through a community of her people. She’s tried to stuff the hurting down, holding herself up and trying to appear strong, but with every few moments, she lay gutted inside again over the loss.
“I’ve too seen unspeakable things my dear.” The old woman lifted her sleeve, revealing the word “sinner” carved in her skin. She reached over with her other hand and traced her fingertips over the raised letters. “We all have our stories and with every tragedy should come change. We should be comprehending these travesties, adapting and learning from the wickedness thrown at us by them. Figuring how we’re going to transition and continue on with living our lives. Being dragged down by difficult trials is going to change you, but you must cope and pray to honesty prevent yourself from not moving past tragedy. Fastened pain will only weigh heavily on your shoulders.”
That evening, the young girl walked out of the village. She traveled far to be alone, to be at peace. She climbed through the hills of the abstract countryside during dusk, humming hymns of peace as she read the scripts of her lord. She swept the air full of beaming specs of light while in prayer, sending hope into the world. The wind blew and swayed the orbs into the sky, carrying them across the landscape. They shortly danced together in the winds as a final goodbye before dispersing towards the horizon, into the night.
Eldhraun Lava Field, Iceland. 2015
The Mask is the Lie
I’ve grown far too accustomed to sheltering people from the full truth by concealing myself as a mask to the world. It is my barricade, my wall, and I don't know exactly why. Am I scared to acknowledge the truth of who I truly am? Maybe it feels safer inside there. I don't think anyone has actually been right in front of me, at least, not for a while. Someone who's seen me in my entirety. Knowing the hardships of my past and the pain of stuffing myself in what feels to be a deeper and narrower hole of unspoken honesty and an abundance of cumbersome moments. Someone who wants me.
Why can't I be comfortable with the person I want to be all the time - the person behind the mask. The person I am. I want to find the escape from living in this dredging denial by untying the strings behind my head. I sometimes I find myself inside my mind and overthink the smallest things, twisting outcomes in a million directions, encasing me in crippling anxiety. My heart races far too often. I imagine my life going one way, but for others, another. Slowly, I’ve been chipping away at the porcelain concealing me by trying to be readily more transparent to the people in my life. Eventually, this mask will no longer hide the man the world does not see. I will embrace, share, trust, depend on, and love someone who sees, feels, respects, and cares for the porous and vulnerable skin latched behind this mask of shelter; a barrier built of blurred truths. Then I hope to feel whole. To be me.
Rout 1, Þjóðvegur, Iceland. 2015
Let Loss Reveal What Was Lost
In a moment of frustration, she left the house and walked all the way through town until she reached the water. Chilled winds blew at her, as waves crashed up against the rocks and gulls flew above the blue waters. She walked with the shoreline to the cliffs faded miles off in the distance. The black rock beach laid empty, as she trudged along as a small dot along the coastline.
She stared at its jagged facade reaching up into the sky as she approached the cliffs. When she was younger, she would come here with a boy she knew in town. He brought her here for the first time; and as teenagers they spent countless days on the cliffs, watching the sun dip into the horizon as the sky transitioned into vibrant bands of color. The moon would rise as the sun was setting, lighting it too, like a second ball of fire in the sky. It was there where they shared their dreams, their hopes, and their ideas of the future. She thought about those moments while looking at the spot where they would watch the ocean.
She started climbing up the cliffside, thinking about the years that have passed by since she last sat here to watch the sunset. It was her first time here alone. Her mind raced with all the “what if’s” in her life. Thinking about all the other ways things could have turned out for herself. She reflected about if she would be happier; if she would still be dealing with the same struggles if things had gone different way. If she had put herself first for once and not someone else, again. Would she be happier? She’ll truly never know the answers to those questions though and she knows speculating will drive her crazy with constant disappointment. The only way to move on from this moment is accepting the past, but more importantly, learning from it.
Reynisfjara, Vik, Iceland. 2015
There She Waits on Her Throne of Ice
Behind the Scenes
He held her hands in his as they stood alone out on the beach. She leaned her head towards his and he pressed his lips against her forehead. The sunlight disappeared over the mountains as thick clouds began to sweep over the sky above them. She could only hear the waves crashing on the shore and the sounds of their beating hearts in unison. Her arm reached around his neck as she held the back of his head in her hand. She pressed her faced against him to feel his warmth against her body one more time.
She trembled as he squeezed her tightly because he started slowly letting go. As he walked away, she held onto his hand as long as she could, before their embrace was fully broken. She stared until he faded into the horizon, walking out of sight along the coastline. The tide slowly came back inland, crashing around her legs as she watched on. She was numb to the cold of the frigid water. Slowly, the water around her feet began hardening into ice. The ice around her grew and rose out from the water, lifting her up, and embracing the coldness she felt in her heart. She’ll wait there until she feels his warmth once more.
Jökulsárlón Glacial Lagoon, Iceland. 2015
Fracturing Conformity
Behind the Scenes
In the distance, she saw the elders approach from across the horizon, each of them arriving from different directions. As gusts of winds billowed at their black-cloaked beings, the elders seemingly glided across the rocky landscape towards the woman in red. She stood still with her hands folded across her chest as she waited patiently for their meeting to begin.
The golden sky roared of thunder as the clouds pushed across them from above, undulating like waves in the sea.
As they surrounded her, she stared deeply, trying to find evidence of a person beneath their hoods, but not even the glimmer of eyes could be found passed the shadows. At once, they extended their right forearms, pointing their fingers and indicating to her it was time to speak.
There she stood after speaking her mind to the elders. They all agreed her ideas of change were foolish and didn’t belong in their land. She spoke her truth and they turned away, unforgiving in her betrayal to her duties and expectations to the traditions performed since the dawn of thought. There wasn’t room for them to add another thought on the matter - change was incomprehensible. Their minds were boxed into the ease of knowing all they needed to know. To ask questions is to seek answers, and to question, invalidates your beliefs to others. Their closed-mindedness showed her their weaknesses while discovering her own personal strengths in the process.
Rout 1, Þjóðvegur, Iceland. 2015
Pause
The roaring brisk wind braced against his body. These invisible forces pushed him as he stepped closer to the very edge of the cliff. His feet felt cold in the dirt on the frozen ground, holding him hundreds of feet above the river below. The sounds of cascading water and the strong gusts of wind competed with one another. He looked all around, checking to see if he was alone with the world sprawling out for miles in front of him. He was it’s audience and was there to return the favor to a place that’s changed his life - to play a ballad for the land.
It seems like the older we grow, the faster time feels to us. Slowly, we’re getting far too comfortable with hours, weeks, and months perceived as common units of time. You think of an event from not too long ago, to then only realize it’s two and a half years later. The only constant in time is change. It’s not stopping for anyone. It’s far too easy to see the things we take for granted when we think about the past. It’s much more uncommon to realize the true values of the important things in our current lives when they’re something always surrounding us. Just pause, for as however long you need. Prioritize those valuables and get rid of the nonsense.
Fjaðrárgljúfur, Iceland. 2015
Innocently Damaged
Her mind doesn't work in the way that it used to anymore. It’s misplaced and untrusting. Her eyelids stroke and days go by. All ability to perceive time has gone. Countlessly finding herself far off into the country, with no clues or breadcrumbs to guide her. She’s lost in a world she can’t understand or control. Clarity has become a thing of the past, but she’s still waiting to see a familiar face one day, to make sense of it all.
Svartifoss Waterfall, Skaftafell, Iceland. 2015
A Crack in Reality
It’s hard to brace for an impact when you don’t see it coming. In the course of a single moment, everything in your life can change so drastically. Determining when you’re up to fixing what can be mended is the antidote needed to remove yourself from the surreal course reality has thrown at you.
No one said life was ever going to be fair or easy, but the best way to keep on track and focus on the important goals in your life might not always seen in the best light by others. It’s important to recognize when you need to put yourself first before others, even when it may effect people in your life that you care about. These solutions may never come to you as easy, but it can honestly be the best thing to do. Get out of the out of control; the current place you’ve found yourself in.
Eldhraun Lava Field, Iceland. 2015
Untamed Delusions of A Broken Heart
The news unquestionably confirmed he was gone forever. Her head fell heavily against the wall behind her as she darted her despondent blue eyes around the room, unaware of what to concentrate them on. Sounds became muffled under the sharp ringing that started to pierce her ears. She tried to stand still as she raised her hand to her head and closed her eyes. While exhaling one more breath, her knees suddenly buckled and she collapsed, hitting the floor. She clenched the letter in her hand and sobbed there motionless, unable to comprehend the pain and loss she was feeling.
The light coming in from the window casted a haze in the dust as it traveled halfway around the room. Still, she laid there, feeling dazed, like the world were in an impenetrable fog. She slowly got up from the floor and walked outside to the back of the house. On the porch, she stared at the water as icebergs slowly drifted and swayed in the distance, towering over the landscape. They moved with the slow current of the water, quietly rustling while brushing up against the other.
Thick clouds overhead released a light freezing rain. Little droplets of water splattered against her as her fair skin blushed red in the bitter cold air. She raised her hands up and out to feel the cold embrace of the raindrops falling from the sky onto her palms. The dull pinging sound of each cold droplet dissatisfied her expectations of the frigid sensation she’d hoped for. Something, she thought, would help her feel anything other than the heavy beats of her heart. Something, that could heal and remove the numbness she felt about the rest of the world.
She soon closed her eyes and stood there in the water as the current pulled at her legs as her dress swayed to the side and her fingertips kissed the surface of the icy waters. Looking up at the frozen peaks before her, she walked closer to the wall of ice and tilting her head back and arching her back. Her feet rolled against the curved stones beneath her, stumbling her movement as the waterline inched higher against her waist with each step deeper into the water and farther away from the land. She gasped for air while suddenly plunging under the surface. Her hands splashed the water one more time before she was entirely submerged and bubbles surrounded her as they escaped her mouth while trying to scream.
Her eyes opened, looking back out at the icebergs in the water. She still stood there on the porch wondering if she even had the courage to do anything remotely close to how she felt. That idea ran over and over in her mind, always playing out with the same absolute ending. As much as she wanted to go out in the water, the thought of it terrified her. Her fears save her life sometimes, but her mind runs wild now with daydreams of undesirable conclusions, helping her cope with a pain that has never gone away.
Jökulsárlón Glacial Lagoon, Iceland. 2015
A Simpler Life
There's always something going on beneath the surface, there's no denying that. On a daily basis, we have primary goals on what we'd like to do, but somehow, so many things seem to find themselves into our lives and sooner than later, all these distractions veer you off from what you'd ideally like to be doing. Where would you be and what would you be doing if all your responsibilities seemed to vanish for a while? To spend each day doing the things you are passionate about and love to do. How different would your life be?
Snæfellsjökull, Iceland. 2015
To Live Another Day
Nearing towards the top of the hill, the vast horizon started to surface over the field of wildflowers swaying in the gusts of wind surging through the valley. He watched as the setting sun glimmered through the tall grass, silhouetting the fiery poppies dancing before him. As his eyes leveled with the top of the hill, sun rays pierced and whirled through the undulating flowers. He raised his arm to shield his eyes and stood at the crest of the hill while the sun married the mountains far, far away. Pausing to watch the sun take its final plunge, he contemplated of what lay before him the next time his eyes met with the bright burning orb in the sky - knowing that no matter the outcome, nothing would stay the same. For now, all he has to do is to keep moving forward.
Antelope Valley California Poppy Reserve, Los Angeles, CA. 2015
Finding Those Relatable Moments
"After I started shooting self portraits, I got over my insecurities about showing my face in my photos. Whenever I'm in front of the camera, the sense of the character I'm portraying in my photographs starts to take ahold of me. I've stopped thinking I'm shooting a photo of myself - I more so go along with the thought process of saying I'm acting as a character for a story I want to tell."
Valley Forge National Historical Park, King of Prussia, PA. 2015
Don't Look Down
Fear of the challenge. Don't look down, just go with it. The height shouldn't defer you from where you want to go, only your preparedness.
In one way or another, we are always going to encounter crazy obstacles in our lives. No matter how hard we grasp at order and clarity, some unexpected occurrence is more likely to arise. This is called life. It's always going to be out of our control. The sooner we can accept that, the sooner we can better prepare and help ourselves with continuing on with it.
We learn to choose which battles to flight, figuring out the ones which are worth fighting for from the minuscule. We learn to choose to feel the way we do about ourselves, because that's all that should really matter at the end if the day, not somebody else's opinions. We learn to choose those certain moments in life that define us, the good and the bad. We don't just come into this world as the people we are. We are shaped by our experiences and by the way we've reacted towards them.
Lebanon, PA. 2015
Awaiting Adventure
Her eyes darted across the page, once more ingesting the adventures of her best-loved character. Each time reading through her favorite story, she could more clearly specify and visualize the narrative in her mind. She had become so familiar reading through each chapter, the words on the page completely escaped her. She no longer held just a book in her hands, but a device that's allowed her to experience the quests and adventures she's been longing for of her own.
Silver Lake Park, Perry, New York. 2014
Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again
Her guests and family chatted with each other in the garden under the giant white tent. They were enjoying the party, making new acquaintances and laughing over drinks, as she sat there numb to the festivities of her own engagement celebrations. How could she smile and believe that everyone was fine after the sudden and recent loss of her mother? It all seemed like pretend - as if they all genuinely felt as miserable as her, holding back their true feelings with an excited facade. How could she go on and continue an engagement feeling this way?
She stood up from the table and walked around the property behind the estate, holding a small golden box. Passing the gardens, she walked towards the trail in the forest which followed along the banks of the river. Surrounding her were beautiful towering trees, vibrantly dress in their autumn attire. She reached the waterfall at the edge of the gorge and she held the small golden box tightly in her hands as she carefully walked over to the water's edge.
Finally, alone she examines the trinket. Earlier at the party, her grandmother pulled her aside to speak with her privately inside of the house. In her grandmothers bedroom she was given the small golden box that she now grasps in her hands. She was told it was her mother’s and that it was also once her grandmother's too - a special family heirloom that’s been past down by scores of generations.
When the small golden box first touched her hands, she felt an energy come from within and through its crystal lid, she noticed something rather peculiar moving inside, a light - small and slightly transparent. Sitting now at the edge of the waterfall, she fondly thinks about the memories of her and her mother. Looking through the crystal lid once more, she examines the small golden box for the strange light she saw earlier.
She pulled on its lid and it didn’t open. Upon trying a second time with more force and determination, the crystal lid of the small golden box popped open. Suddenly, dazzling small sparks of light came floating out and around her with purple smoke pluming out from inside. She felt the warmth of the sun on her face as the brisk autumn breeze brushed at her skin. A soft, but strong voice spoke from inside of the box and whispered out saying, “Believe me, it will all be fine.”
Genesee Falls, Castile, New York. 2014
Replaying Lost Memories
He stood there in front of the door, unable to move or think about what to do next. He coldly stared at everything that was lost as his pulse accelerated. Harder beats from his chest subtly swayed him forward and back, with buckling knees below. He balanced his arm on the door frame and anchored his look through the window. All what remains now is a room open to the elements. Any life left of this place resides in the flood of intangible memories pouring through his mind. He did not expect to return home to this.
Valley Forge National Historical Park, King of Prussia, PA. 2014
The Beginning of A Getaway
As he wandered away from the fights ensuing in the main square, the townspeople pleaded for the government to send more food. The militia raided nearby homes, as he turned away and walked through a thin alley. Droplets of water collected and fell from the rooftops in the misty air. Nearing the other side, the sound of thick rubber soles slapping the ground with emphasized force grew louder, accompanied by the clinging and swaying of the protective gear they wore around their bodies. He ran his back across the wall and held his breath.
The militia broke from their formation and spread inside of the surrounding unoccupied homes. From outside and through the wall, he could hear the violent moments of the raid. Tables turned, furniture shoved, glass broken, everything uprooted from where it stood. The window beside him bursted as an assortment of books came flying out, hitting the building next door, and falling into the muddy puddle near where he was standing. He kept both hands laid against the brick of the house. His heart kept jumping from his chest, accelerating with very beat it took.
The rumbling inside soon dialed down and their marching strides collectively joined and reformed together back outside. Several others walked down the street. One man entered inside the house again, his actions sounding less extreme, but all the while seeming more serious with each silent moment that passed. The militia formation marched on as the man inside opened doors and cupboards, walking nearer to the broken window. In the ally, the young man's stomach quivered and ached, rumbling with a sound he did not how to silence. The man stopped moving inside.
He looked to his right and saw the edge of the forest through the alley across the street. His stomach settled as he listened for anymore movements coming from inside the house. The man had gone upstairs and was exploring the bedrooms. From the alley, he poked one eye from the corner of the building. Looking left, many groups of men ran back and forth from down the street near the square. To the right, the town and streets laid empty and bare.
He tapped his foot against the wet gravel on the ground. He kept his eyes to the left and waited for the right moment. As the the majority of the crowd from down the road make their way around the corner, he took off from the alley and bolted to the other thin alley across the street. With each step he took, his shoes sunk slightly into the unpaved road, kicking up small rocks as he sprinted. Once inside the alley, he kept at a steady pace. He ran towards the forest without looking behind him. Right at the edge, he hit a chained-linked fence hidden in the shadows. Without hesitation, he climbed up, threw his coat over the barbed-wire coiled across the top, and leaped to the other side.
The forest was dark and dense, but so liberating at the very same time. He ran and crouched beneath the branches of the pine trees. He kept going as far off as he could, to separate himself from the town with as much distance as he could. Slowly, he started seeing bands of colored fabric tied to some of the branches, each color leading in a different direction. He stood for a moment, trying to understand their purpose and origin. The ground rumbled and pine needles fell from the tree tops. Loud explosions came from the town behind. He darted again, forward, following the white bands of fabric tied to the trees. All he could do now was blindly trust what he had found. Anything would be better than the chaos he had just escaped from.
Silver Lake Park, Perry, New York. 2014
A Journey Ended in A Land Unknown
The heat from below was rising and the cavernous walls around him began to terribly shake, as debris broke off from the ceiling falling from above. From the deep depths of the cave, a roaring howl of a beast grew and echoed. Fiery molten lava pushed through the cave's crevasses, accelerating as it rose, propelling all inside of the dwelling to flee.
As he ran towards the entrance he stumbled over the loose rocky floor beneath him, dropping his light and all of his belongings. With no time to spare, he left everything behind. Daylight pierced in through the distance, appearing strangely serene as dust glimmered through the beams of light shining in. He sprinted to the cave's opening as the ground beneath him trembled more violently.
Large slabs of rock came crashing down in all directions as a plume of steam rushed up and through the narrower passage. The earth below his feet gave in and he slipped, as the ground continued to shake. The interior walls began collapsing down and the deafening rumble of its destruction grew louder. He stood up and continued to stagger towards the opening.
The golden sunlight that was escaping the overcast sky hit his face as he peered out through the side a cliff. The tremors from deep within the earth started to settle as he looked out to the horizon. Bulky waves below him crashed against the jagged rocks. There were no signs or clues for him to tell where he was. The landscape appeared entirely foreign from his home. He just knew, for the time being, that he was safe.
Great Falls Park, McLean, VA. 2014
Daydreamers
Daydreamers - they have the power to experience life in so many fantastic and unimaginable ways, and I'm thankful to be one. Our mind is an amazingly pure place to create ideas and stories out of the abyss of shooting thoughts that are fabricated from our experiences or yearnings. Ideas form and take shape in some of the most powerful ways.
Yesterday I attended a poetry festival with a few creative friends of mine and it really made me miss the creative writing I used to do. Before I found my love for photography, writing had stolen my heart. I think what drew me close to creating stories was the sense of description and the control I had over an entire new world of my own. Sometimes as these stories unfolded from pen to paper, they started to take on a life of their own, and that's what's so amazing about our mind; the ability to evolve and adapt to new scenarios. We'll always have a sense of wonder through life as long as we always keep believing it's there.
As a child, I found myself in situations that were totally out of my control and I believe that's why I find comfort in telling stories through my work. Writing has given me the chance to express myself in many dynamic ways and it's a vice for me that helps myself get through tough to deal with situations. I visually channel that now in my photography, but it's been a long while since writing anything extensive, and now I'm looking forward to doing just that.
Anyone has the ability to be creative, but they might not know how to harvest their ideas; shape them in a way that communicates towards themselves and others to interpret.
Great Falls Park, McLean, VA. 2014
The Piano Remained There
"Son,
After she died, I misunderstood the world in so many ways. As your mother's glow faded from my mind, so did the world's. Everything was dark. Everywhere, everyday, a void contained within me followed and I started to drink. Life grew staler as each day without her passed and I let you down. The world kept moving and the sun kept rising, but so much was changed. She loved you so much.
As you know when you were younger, I couldn't continue to afford our home any longer without your mother. It nearly broke me inside, but I couldn't take it with me. We didn't have the space and I couldn't play. When the bank came to take the property, the piano offered us the ability to find somewhere new. I thought a new beginning, a new town, would help me help you. Alcohol was the dangerous constant that started this mess, and it was what continued to drag me so down.
I can't help you anymore than that, I'm sorry. The last time I saw it was in the yard among the other things we left behind and tried to sell. I've never gone back, and you don't need to explain the reasons why you are.
I've been waiting three days to write back to you since I received your letter. I haven't had a drink since then. I hope things could maybe start looking up for the two of us. It's been so good to hear from you.
I love you,
Father"
Eldorado Canyon, Nelson, NV. 2014
Serenity Amongst Destruction
Running down the cold and wet cobblestone alley, he stumbled upon an open passage nearby in the ground as low-flying planes roared loudly in the sky. He helped her through first. They crawled into the basement of the building and covered the entrance behind them, escaping the chaos that continued to ensue throughout the city. As they caught their breath, he walked through the darkness, clenching her hand as she followed.
They hid under the staircase until daybreak. They felt the nearby tremors rumble the building and the floorboards overhead, shaking dust and debris down from above. He held her tightly in his arms. All had gone quiet for awhile. Inside, the world seemed as if it had stopped. The loud sounds of war muffled through the thick stone walls had gone and faded away.
After waiting some time, they crept out from the corner and looked for a way to get up to the floor above. The door at the top of the staircase wouldn’t budge, so they continued to look for another way. She found a ladder leaning up against the wall, which they used to climb up through a hole in they had found in floorboards.
Both emerged from the basement and walked down a tattered hallway. The church they found themselves in looked just like the rest of the city; deserted, dismantled, and damaged. Darkness distilled as sunlight crawled in through the windows of the sanctuary. They stood there for a short while, in the middle of the room, and marveled over its beauty. The warm orange glow from the sun slowly danced against the ornamental architecture of the church.
They climbed up to the balcony and looked through one the windows in the spire. Outside, smoke rose from burning buildings in the distance and the streets were empty. She stood there, distraught and emotional. He walked away for a moment as she continued to look through the window. He walked up to the piano on the balcony and laid his index finger onto one of the keys. He slowly pressed down, testing the strength of the instrument’s sound inside.
Being unable to speak throughout his life, he wanted to comfort her from the ordeal that they faced. He picked an unbroken chair from the pile of rubble next to him and sat it down as he started to play a melody from his heart. As he played, she walked over unable to make any sense of what he was doing. He continued to play as she walked over closer to him. His melody eased her. She stood in front of the piano and stared deeply into his eyes as he went on. When the melody subsided, he nervously and slowly looked up at her and smiled.
Philadelphia, PA. 2014
Hold On Strong
Life is like a river - it never stops moving and we are caught in the current. It takes us for a wild ride and sometimes to places we never imagined. When we hit dams, we pool. We try to stay calm and collected before pushing through obstacles we are faced with. Sometimes we approach waterfalls. All we can do is fight to hold on, before holding our breath and falling into the water below. At some point though, all rivers will end. We either highly regard our admiration for the journey we completed or feel astounded by where we find the journey's conclusion.
Great Falls Park, McLean, VA. 2014
The Choices He Picked and the Decisions He Made
After a spectacular downfall, he thought he’d skip town. Leave all his troubles behind and all his bridges burnt. Rather then face anything head on, he set out to start anew in a blaze of glory.
He thought it’d be easy; to leave everyone behind and turn a blind eye to the heartache he caused them and destruction left. It was only until he needed their help did he know there was no one to turn to.
Eldorado Canyon, Nelson, NV. 2014
Everyday He Wakes Up Here
A drop of sweat trickles down the side of his face as he lays there on the ground. A thin layer of dirt falls from his head as he lifts it up and opens his eyes in the hot desert sun. He looks up to see his plane in a pile of gnarled and mangled metal smashed in the hillside and he quickly stumbles to his feet. The plane’s tail stood straight up in the air as it made an apparent nose dive into the ground. The front of the plane was crushed by the impact, with debris being scattered all around.
Catching his breathe after running over to the plane, he tries to make sense of the situation in his head, while looking for any signs of his pilot. As he stumbles through the crash site, he sees a majority of the plane pieces already rusted and covered in a thick layer of dirt. He walks over to the wing and wipes his hand across it, pushing some of the dirt to the ground.
A slight breeze passes over the hillside and starts moving something out in the distance. The torn fabric catches his attention and he sees the bundled remains of a parachute billowing in the breeze. He climbs over the wing of the plane and walks over. Nearing the parachute, he notices a boot sticking out from underneath. Before he could get too close, another breeze lifted the fabric to expose the pilot’s skeletonized leg.
Eldorado Canyon, Nelson, NV. 2014
Expelling the Opposed
Life is all about changes. We rarely see consistency in the grand scheme of things, but we do see repetition. Sometimes we realize and see in a new light, certain qualities of ourselves that we might not have specifically seen before. Something sticks out at you and you're aware that it shouldn't belong. I think self awareness is the first step in helping yourself be a better you and living with more of a positive attitude. Expel what negativity you know that you can release in life.
Wissahickon Valley Park, Philadelphia, PA. 2014
The Birth of Venus
We All Break
Only a handful of times do we go through something in life where we can remember everything precisely as it happened and down to the smallest weird details; plot points in our memories containing strong emotional ties to our past. We can replay those moments over and over - straight until we reach a point where we can remember the smells, sounds of what was happening. Those instances remain in with us for life.
F.D.R. Park, Philadelphia, PA. 2014
Short Walks of Introspection
When I was really young, I lived in a neighborhood surrounded by the woods. It probably wasn’t the best thing to do as a little kid, but I would explore the trails on my own and either imagine myself as some sort of explorer or find myself just using that time to think about what was going on in my life. Until moving to Philadelphia, I have lived my whole life near the woods, and moving to into urban city area took a little getting used to. I quickly learned there’s this thing called city-walking.
I still do this today. I find myself on these mini adventures/getaways. Sometimes on my own without any intentions, but now I use this time to scout for locations to do future shoots. I like having that time of disconnection, away from the outside world. When you’re out there, it’s so easy to forget about how many other things are happening out in the world. They just seem like they’re not that important. It’s a nice feeling for a short while.
Great Falls Park, McLean, VA. 2014
Waiting in Red
She ran to the car and knocked on the window. His dark hair was slicked back, and he held his hat in his hand as he turned over to her. She grabbed the collar of his uniform and pulled him in closer and kissed. They stayed there for a moment with their brows leaning against each other. She stepped back and the car pulled away down the street and around the corner. She stayed there and watched until he was gone. Now she spends her days in red, waiting for her true love to safely return.
Great Falls Park, McLean, VA. 2014
The Indulgence of Loss for Gain
Near the end of the performance, he stood up before the final scene and made his way towards the back of the theater right as she whispered, “I love you.” on stage. After the audience applauded and the lights were blown out, he waited again outside of the room with the mirror on the door, leaning on his walking cane rather than the wall. The hinges squeak loudly and the door opens slightly. Only her long pale arm draws out that clenches the white dress from the final act of the performance. Without saying a word or ever giving a reason why, he grabs the dress from her after every show and takes it home.
He stows the dress in the old trunk in his bedroom. Every night before bed, he takes out his work; screenplays, books, and notes, and lays them over his bed. He breaths calmly as sits there with tears down his face reminiscing over his love as he writes his next play. From his bed he stares at the trunk and thinks about her. He found the dress among her things and every night he closes his eyes and sees her there, finally wearing her wedding dress.
Sarelenes, France. 2014
The Bait of Curiosity
Songbirds sang in the late afternoon as a calm cool breeze swayed through the forest. Beneath the largest tree on the banks of the river, there slept a man in solitude. The trickling sound of the rippling water against the rocks soon subsided, and all noise around the man grew quiet as the birds flew away with their songs.
There with his eyes shut closed, he enjoyed the sweeping shade of foliage from above, and heard soft whispers that danced through the air; their words so faint and hollow.
He quickly shuttered at the crashing sound of a book that had fallen from above. He looked up and saw no trace of where it came from. He leaned closer and gazed at its worn and weathered bindings inlaid in unrecognizable text. As he reached forward, it began to inch towards him on its own. He grabbed the book tightly and stood up, observing its markings in his tightly clenched hands.
Before he could react, the book threw itself out of his arms and into the distant brush. He ran over and as he neared, the book appeared and ascended from the ground. The closer he became, the higher it rose. The book turned over and opened up, releasing a sudden gust of wind that hit his face. Contained within were whispers that escaped and groaned loudly; filling his head with deceiving lies about the people he loved.
He covered his ears, which made no difference. The words penetrated through even louder in his mind. He bent over, screamed and whaled, and instantly the voices disappeared as he gasped for air. He stood there numbly as the book traveled deeper into the forest. He followed blindly as the sun blazed in a fiery glow. The witch’s curse had claimed one more.
F.D.R. Park, Philadelphia, PA. 2014
The Call of Patient Spring
She steps out, rubs her eyes, and looks at a land barren and cold. An abundant of snow covered trees fill the distance in a collage of white and black, paired with grays of the overcast sky. Branches clash in the nipping wind, dropping the overhead snow on the powered ground littered with footprints. Walking to the nearest tree, she places the palm of her hand against its rough textured bark. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Slowly, she feels a dormant life within presenting itself; it’s warmth growing by the minute.
When she opened her eyes, droplets of water fell upon her face and she smiled. The clouds dissolved and rays of sunlight beamed across the land, sparkling against the ice. Chirping birds flew overhead and buds of green sprouted. It wasn’t before long when her feet no longer felt the cold on the ground. Flowers bloomed and a cool breeze blew. The colorful land was again ready for a new beginning; to flourish and bring new life into the world.
Please Touch Museum, West Fairmount Park, Philadelphia, PA. 2014
The Insightful Emergence of Lingering Characters
Growing up, we are all told wildly different and commonly similar stories as children. We’ve learned lessons from them, laughed and cried at them, and at times even felt anger with their conclusions. Sometimes though, we latch onto something and we strangely grow a connection with a character from a story we’ve read.
Shared experiences, altercations, or interests are possibly the tools that help us perceive a better and vivid understanding of a character’s mindset in a story we’ve dived into and don’t want take our eyes off of; even when we’ve realized the amount of hours that have just passed. These personas sometimes stay with us for a short time, while others may gain more dominate presences in our lives. They may have helped us view the world in a new way or became a shoulder for us to lean on during troubling times. Any way you look at it, they’ve become something more than words on a page in a book and that’s the haunting beauty of a great story we can’t let go of.
F.D.R. Park, Philadelphia, PA. 2014
Pandora's Box
Nearly an hour had passed on as Pandora walked along the trail leading to the village nearby, crunching the fallen leaves nestled into the ground. Two deer appeared, that delicately pondered ahead and stepped out from the trees. Their thin bodies walked forward and investigated the lone, beautiful traveler. They circled round side by side, keeping aware of the distance between them. Pandora kneeled down and slowly extended her arm out to them in a gesture of comfort and safety. As they exchanged a heavy moment into one an other's eyes, the loud quick snap of a branch breaking scared the deer and they bolted back into the brush of the forest.
Pandora stood up straight, swinging her pale head back towards the source of the noise - her black hair followed. No one was there. She looked the other way and saw nothing. The deer were gone and their sounds of sprinting leaps had quickly disappeared from the distance. Pandora stood there alone on the trail, listening for anything at all. She turned around once more and saw a familiar face standing there looking back at her, holding a small wooden box.
She couldn't believe who was right there in front of her but dared not deny it in her mind. He bestowed the box to her while getting down on one knee. "A gift for you, my dear Pandora, in celebration of all the wonderful things you have experienced in your life." "But, I must warn you that I can never tell you what's inside. If you wish to continue to live a life of wonder and joy, be mindful in letting the box stay as it is." He closed his eyes and bowed his head down, holding out his offering. "I am at a loss for words, gracious Zeus, but what is a gift that I can not open?" Pandora put the palm of her hand upon the box and felt a warmth coming from within, against the carved wooden pattern that adorned the top. A warmth that surprised her as she gasped and she put up her other hand against her mouth, pressing on the red of her lips. She marveled over the box and of its beauty. Something so small, so precious, so warm.
She grabbed her gift from beneath and used her other to hold the top. She slightly pulled, opening the box's seal. Zeus suddenly looked up, recognizing that the power of curiosity had just doomed her and mankind by releasing all the evils of the world.
F.D.R. Park, Philadelphia, PA. 2014
We’re All Living on Borrowed Time
He laid there fatigued, drawing in new breath slower than the last. When his eyes opened again, all had gone dark around him and the cold in the air had faded away. Rustling leaves grew larger and branches cracked overhead as they inched in closer. Euphoric notches bounced through the air- tick, tick, tick.
He looked up for the uniformed sound. It’s noise continued to grow louder as each sudden note faded out into the distance. With each tick that passed, the life in the forest grew around him. He looked at this forming life in astonishment and wonder, as his head laid heavy against the earth beneath. From behind, slight movements on his back curiously synchronized with the ticking sounds. Slowly, he stretched his arm behind and noticed a mechanism, round and cold, adhered to his back, vibrating with each new movement it made.
As the minutes slipped by, the forest around him flourished and grew, and the world seemingly weighed heavier on his body as each moment passed. Soon, the clock will strike twelve, reaching an end and a new beginning. Not before long, all of his being will have concluded, but what's left behind harbors new life to the world.
F.D.R. Park, Philadelphia, PA. 2014
Aware of the Smaller Mountains Surrounding Everest
I’m currently and excitingly sitting here at my college graduation! It’s one of those big moments that will hang on for a lifetime. A huge feeling of accomplishment and gratitude is soaring through all of us together waiting for our names to be called. I’ve been working towards this day for so long and it’s finally here; I’ve made it through a challenging and interesting excursion to fine tune my desires to be the photographer I’ve become. I found the thing inside me that’s given me the motivation to create. I’ve gained so much insight into the art world and how I’ve started to, then found my place into it. I’ve reached the top of a huge feat, but still, it’s only the beginning of something on a much larger scale that starts tomorrow. Today we celebrate a grad accomplishment!
F.D.R. Park, Philadelphia, PA. 2014
Ethereal Confines of the Heavenly Divine
I'm not a religious person. It's just the way I grew up. Death has grasped it's hands at my life before, and still during those enduring times, those days where life seemed pointless, when time accelerated and simultaneously stretched through countless hours, and breathing seemed like it was the only thing I could do -- my mind never once thought of an afterlife. My mindset aimed at eliminating the worrying notion of "afterlife" altogether. Granted, I was still young at the time and hadn't yet dealt with personal responsibilities, but this left my mind open, open to investigational and observational studies of the world. It put into perspective where I fit in the scheme of things and who I wanted to be. For me, it was a time for growth, hardship, and self-reflection. It molded me into the person I've become today, marked a new and hard to read chapter on my life, and as I turned through those heavy pages, I lost people in my life along the way.
And I'm not very good at goodbyes. I tend compartmentalize hard to deal with emotions as a coping mechanism from feeling the blow of all the pain. It's not that I'm numb to the pain, but I make time to deal with it in my own way. I'm not sure if that's a personal strength or weakness, but I've come to terms, for the time being that is, that is the person I am.
So, when something as serious as death and deathly struggles arise, I don't seek answers from higher powers. The switch in my head telling me that there one grand plan for every significant and insignificant thing to happen within our existence isn't there. I can't think of one ever being there- life is random and life is what you make it. When I lose a person I love, someone who was warm, close and dear to me, I accept the hard truth that no new memories will be made with this person and a chapter of my life with them in it has penned its last words, but my memories will always keep their spirits alive.
This photograph is dedicated to my friend, Dawn Raia. She was an outstandingly caring, kind, and remarkable person- always with a smile on her face and a glimmer of confidence in her eyes. Her positive energy radiated to everyone she knew. Though she has passed, she will rest easily forever our minds and her loving legacy will continue on in a community that she called home and will forever miss her.
Philadelphia, PA. 2014
Unpredicted Outcomes
The rules are already made up for them, for those living in sub-societies of the land. Living in a free land didn't make this man a free man. Confined and pushed into living through over idealistic expectations. He had made up his mind. He wasn't of this life. He didn't belong. Missing capability. To be kept sheltered and tied to the traditions of the past. He had ambitions. His own desires. This man left everything behind to discover the life he wanted. The life he longed for. The life he died in search for.
Blairstown, NJ. 2014
The Camera and I
There are many reasons why we take self portraits. It’s not always narcissistically associated with how we physically look, but sometimes it’s about how we feel at that particular moment. A moment we wanted to save, a moment we wanted to create. Here, in this moment, I wanted to show how I feel about the work I do — the work I get create, imagine about, and bring to life.
Photographs can be more than visual. Just use your mind. See where it takes you.
Wissahickon Valley Park, Philadelphia, PA. 2014
Collectively Keeping Your Head in the Clouds
"It is better to have your head in the clouds, and know where you are… than to breathe the clearer atmosphere below them, and think that you are in paradise." - Henry David Thoreau
Sometimes life brings moments where there isn't enough time. You forget to think for yourself dedicating time to getting responsibilities taken care of and dealing with trying to maintain a schedule. The mind is powerful, but the mind isn't limitless. It's impossible to stand up right in front of every little obstacle day in and day out. It's important to find even the smallest amount of time to step back and breathe in deeply.
F.D.R. Park, Philadelphia, PA. 2013
Compelled with Meeting Prior Sorrows
Dwelling on past misfortunes leads to a downward spiral of self loathing and fear by distracting yourself in anyway from facing reality. Never forget your past, but use it for crucial learning. Reflect on the good and the bad and make decisions to move forward and grow. Learn from life. Don't hold hands with the past and let it hold you down.
Fairfield, NJ. 2013
Don't Stare at the World as it Passes You By
To live without regret in our lives is to live a life knowing you did everything you can. Don't pass up opportunities, work hard, and aim for the stars. Be the best person you know you can be.
Fairfield, NJ. 2013
Suddenly Hit by Everything in the World
Fairmount Park, Philadelphia, PA. 2013
Explosive Responses Suppressed by the Blow
It's a feeling of passion and one of rage. The emotional state of mind that dominos into paralysis to all of your motor skills. Pre-reaction and a state of processing vital information. Blood pressure rises and you can't feel your feet on the ground anymore. Lightheaded and disoriented. You honestly can't believe what just happened or what you just learned.
F.D.R. Park, Philadelphia, PA / Death Vally National Park. 2013
Mind, Body, Spirit
A state of synchronized relaxation in every aspect. In life, we need these moments to assist our minds and acquire personal strength and growth. Lost on a river in-between our realm of reality and the text of a story, an adventure, an experience or escape.
Wissahickon Valley Park, Philadelphia, PA. 2013
Offer What You Have to the World as Would Artemis to the Wild Land
The planet we thrive on, the one we call home. We must pay our respects to it and the gift it continually gives to us on a daily basis, life. It doesn't owe us anything. We are the ones who owe our existence to it and all of its wondrous capabilities.
Ralph Stover State Park, Tinicum Township, PA. 2013
Cycle
F.D.R. Park, Philadelphia, PA. 2013
Foreign
West Amwell, NJ. 2012
Testing Boundaries
"Love doesn't grow on trees like apples in Eden - it's something you have to make. And you must use your imagination too." -Joyce Cary
Extend yourself beyond your usual comfort zone. Break away from a safe place and go into unchartered territory. Pushing the limits of yourself and of those around you. It doesn’t matter what the outcome may possibly be, as long as you tried and believe in yourself. That’s all that matters. Limits only exist for the simple minded and our imaginations have no boundaries.
Lambertville, NJ. 2012
UNDERSTANDING HUMAN